Love Should Be

I go to where love should be

Only to find its place empty

I go to where love should be

Yet it does not find me

I go to where love should be

A hollowness there I do see

I go to where love should be

No arms are there to greet me

I go to where love should be

Sorrow stands and laughs at me

I go to where love should be

Misery waits to engulf me

I go to where love should be

There I stand alone

Alone At Sea

I drift alone on open seas. 

Sails searching for no particular wind. 

By day I drop my sails and rest.

Night falls and the stars become my lovers.

I know them all as the shine down upon me.

The breeze sings to me through billowing sails.

Waves rock me side to side in the mermaids waltz.

Here I am alone in the world.

Lonely as it may be.

Tis far better to be lonely at sea.

Then on land with people surrounding me.

The Me I Am Today

  This is the face of The Traveler. To say it is who I am may be misleading. Defining myself in a singular would be rather difficult. “Me” changes regularly. Each experience, new friend, sunrise and sunset makes me slightly different. Fortunately all the me’s remain readily accessible. Therefore reaching back to find a particular emotion or memory from which to choose and transfer to written word can be done without having to actually be in that current state. However there are times I choose to live in painfully memories for awhile. Maybe this is a form of selfharm minus a cut or burn? Regardless when done and the pain had past the absence of it is blissful. Currently I dwell in the memory of her because it is the most glorious memory. When she was near life floated in an unreal fantasy of amazement. She was everthing then she was gone. Yes later she was in my life again. We had day long conversations. Laughed then cried and asked why. Then she was gone again. There are times when I steal momentary glances into her life. Normally to remind myself how much better her life is now than it would have been with me. Quietly I walk away. Ours paths will cross again one day. Maybe then we can have day long conversations which continue the next day. This being shared because it is who I am. Tomorrow I will continue traveling. Reaching back to find something else. I hope you will come along and in some way I hope as my pain heals yours will too.

Hollow Eyes

It is with hollow eyes I stare into the world now. Once everywhere I looked my eyes sought love. An eye that did not look away from my glance. Is that a smile forming upon the corner of her mouth? Gently she moved her hair behind her ear. Eye contact again. I think that is a good thing? My eyes once saw all these things. Yet my shattered heart has made them hollow. Now I see nothing. Blank faces in a blank world while I live a blank existance. How I wish someone would restore my sight.

An Abundance of Nothingness

  My stylus taps upon the dual glow of a muted screen keypad. The emotion, no, romance of the act is not as satisfying. The act being the conveying of my thoughts. It would feel far better if you were reading the scribbles of my 1864 fountain pen from my leather bound diary. Yet you are there and here am I. Neither in the same space nor time. Thus compounding my abundance of nothingness.

  Reclined upon my leather sofa in darkness my world seems small enough to bare. Often such is not the case. More then I care for the world is far to vast, empty, opressing, thus: depressing. More memories then I wish to recall. More love unreturned. Kindness unappreciated. Romance ignored. However, presently life has brought me you. Or possibly you me. Regardless we are although not simultaneously together, in word and thought we are joined.

  Therefore I am grateful you have made my nothingness not as abundant. You must understand my life has be very solitary but not by self creation. In truth, some self creation yet without a desire for it to so be. While my solitude is for lack of a better descriptive, safe, it is not wanted. How much more I would rather have you sitting with me to inspire my thoughts and share in my creations. This acknowledged, and if you so happen to discover these few words, would you, my dearest, join me. I ask nothing more than a moment. A brief glimpse of happiness. Only to use to feed my soul when the nothingness is great.

  Have I again crossed the comfortable boundaries of nondisclosure by sharing briefly a taste of what pounds inside my mind? If so let it stand. May it taste sweet, smell fragrant, warm your soul. If not cast all from you and forgive the transgression. Do so with singular request. Leave a word of lie or truth. Either I will read as sincere. Express to me the desire I desire. Feed me one tiny morsel of passion to blanket me as darkness falls.

Most Hopefully,

D

( I write this directed at no one and everyone. Share with me. Find comfort beside me. )