There are pits into which we willingly crawl. Though painful, dark and alone. They are familiar, comforting, welcome. Surely you know such a place.
Mine alomost feel like home. Stores of varing emotions to which I return. Some are very painful. Tormenting. Hell like. Yet I fall into them arms spread landing flat upon my back. Only to taste it, smell it, live it a little more.
How insane this all sounds. Yet. Upon emeriging to a bright blue sky and gentle breeze. Life is new again. Clean. Fresh. Full of anything. So I set sail and beging to live. Until my anchor drops again.
(The attached image is the sky above me now. How open and glorious it is. The other is my 1st mate Zilliah, no fine a companion was ever made.)