In my recent soul searching and self redefining I discovered a truth about my pain. Forgive me for only having shared emotional pain with you in the past. Currently I am on the couch tempted to write about ripping souls and gnashing teeth. However, what is really going on is immense physical pain.
Life has left me a physical wreck. My spine is broken in more places than I can remember. Metal in spots. Just missing in others. There are thirty two electrical connectors sewn to my spine. All powered and controlled by a computer/power pack in my back. All that to block pain and help me stay out of a wheelchair. Broken hips, knees, and few gun shot wounds just for giggles. Sounds bad but all manageable.
Problem is….transference. (Nora….chime in and explain) For years I have been transferring physical pain into emotional pain. Taking all that is broken physically and attempting to make it something worse. Reality is my body will never heal more than it has. However, here is the kicker, I am not broken. Every emotion in my soul is fully functional and ready to be used. I am capable of extraordinary love, friendship and compassion. The me that matters is whole.