Tonight I Want To Feel

Tonight I want to feel the deliciousness of my sorrow. Deep breaths pull it into my lungs. Slowly it seeps through my tissues until I am saturated. The weight of it. Density of it, is massive. It crushes me yet soothes as well.

I want to feel it. Embrace it. Allow it to engulf me completely. Giving in to its rips and gashes upon my soul. Exhaling as it feeds upon me. The pain is sumptuous. 

How willing I subside to it. Erasing self until all that remains is the emptiness I truly am. May it erase all memory of love which once lived. For it is now so far distant its light no longer penetrates my darkness. 

Tonight I surrender. Tomorrow I begin again.


4 thoughts on “Tonight I Want To Feel

  1. Sounds like you are coming to terms with facts to me. Even things that you have denied or refused to believe happened. Maybe those dark things are keeping you rooted. Where do you belong?

    1. In my big leather chair presently. Was outside dining with a few to many during lunch. It was nice though. I wish I knew where I belonged my friend. It has been a long journey and during it I have been may people and belonged many places. Somewhere I lost myself and my anchor. Not sure I am ready to find either.

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